21 for 30.

Earlier today I was reaching for an envelope out of my desk drawer when a little blue book with grey duct tape on the binding spoke to me and I couldn’t resist but to open it and start reading. The blue book happens to be the journal I had with me in South America during my time filming for Discovery Channel’s, The Wheel. If you want the breakdown of the show, give er a solid Google :) 

For the sake of this blog, I will refrain from details about my experience. Instead, I want to share an excerpt from my little blue book that really spoke to me today when I was reading it.

To set the scene… I had just got back from South America. I was a changed man. My world was rocked. I lost 27 pounds in 19 days. I cried. I wanted my mommy and daddy. I starved. I learned a lot. After, I was back in a world that didn’t quite understand what I had went through. I had gained a new perspective on life and these are my thoughts after returning home to Montana. 

When I reread this, I am able to reconnect to who I was at that moment and resonate in a different perspective. See if you can recognize the approach I have on life, goals, success. 

“Tonight’s entry comes weeks after my arrival to the states. Honestly, I have wanted to let everything sink in. My journey felt like a lifetime, at the same time, feels like a lifetime ago. The paradox. This often seems to be the case in our lives. Work, school, family, and sports schedules keep us moving. Moving too fast at times. 


Please for the sake of this entry, take the next 5 minutes and think about your life. Break it down in a timeline. Begin to remember events and experiences that stick out. This small practice will put into perspective how drastic your life’s plan can change. 

Tonight, my Dad sent me a text. Embedded was a photo from my first ASU intersquad wrestling match, which happened to be the only time I ever put on a ASU Sun Devil singlet… With it, the text read, “Crazy how fast time flies and things change.”

My response, “Puts into perspective how life’s plans are never concrete.”

How true. As you look back on the years passed, imagine how different your life is than what you envisioned it being ten years ago. Who knows, maybe you’re exactly where you thought you would be. Hell, if you’re like me, you’re sitting here reflecting, saying to yourself, “Holy shit. I am no where remotely close to where I thought I was going to be ten years ago.”

Our ego is driven by false concrete plans that we trick ourselves to be true. Some may say it’s the minds way of staying sane. I say, we become hypnotized into believing such ideas/visions to subconsciously make ourselves feel safe. Isn’t that what we all strive for? Comfort?

Relationships, finances, work, we strive for stability in all areas of our lives. We set goals, make plans in effort of manifesting the “future” we deserve. Now, this is all incredible. In order to attract we must become. However, we must begin to live in a being state capable of change. Whether radical or slight, our minds and bodies must be prepared for continual changes over the course of our lives. 

Set goals, work, plan, schedule, obsess all you want. Follow your path with intent but be prepared for sharp turns. No matter how hard you try to wish it to be, nothing in life is concrete. Nothing stays the same. Life is fluid. Enough trying to b a solid in a liquid world. 

At any given moment life can take a 360 degree turn. Sometimes for the better. Sometimes of the worse. In either case, be willing to adjust to whatever comes your way. 

Things change. People change. The only thing that is ever constant is change itself.” 

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To me, I feel a lot of hope in my words. I was in a time of limbo spiritually when I wrote them. I was still trying to figure what the fuck just had happened in the last year. It’s funny how what I wrote October 13th, 2016 makes so much sense to me now but was probably just some words on paper then. 

And that makes it 21 for 30.