The other day as I looked myself in the mirror, I noticed a number of small winkles and age marks under my eyes..
The fuck? Well..I am 24 years old now. In societal terms, I am a young adult.
But how did I get here?
How did I find myself leading a young company hungry for success? What lead me to be so sure to where I plant my feet? And most importantly, where did these damn wrinkles come from?
All this can be answered in three words. Love. Travel. And Rebel.
First, this week, let’s talk about love.
Love is incredibly powerful and binding. It has the power to manipulate, control, and dictate.
So why love?
When it comes to people, I feel there are two kinds of love you have for someone, unconditional, and romantic. Both types of love play a major role in your journey, and understanding when to separate your self-love for the love of others is crucial to transformation.
What do I mean?
The relationships you have with people you love directly affect how you operate daily. For instance, in unconditional relationships, family and friends, we often base our choices on the reaction it will create with those part of these groups. Your decisions may often be predicated on the negative reactions these people may have even when it may not be exactly what you want in your heart. Basically, you make decisions based on what other people want.
This is what makes love so powerful. You love these people. You respect them. But you aren’t them! You are your own person and it’s 100% okay to make decisions that you feel are right in your heart of hearts even if you’re fucking up.
Let’s face it. If you have a family that is an all-in support group, you’re part of a small percentage of individuals. For the most of us, love often causes conflict. In unconditional love relationships this conflict often is you wanting one thing and your family and friends wanting another for you. You’re scared of what your parents think and it’s absolutely holding you back.
This is where that separation I mentioned comes into play. So, you love these people. Great. But are these people holding you back or propelling you forward on your mission?
Are you not where you want to be because you’re worried about what your Dad is going to think? Are you holding back because you’ve slowly began to believe the negative, passive aggressive family member who secretly doesn’t want to see you win.
Here’s my advice. Love your family, unconditionally. If they don’t support your vision, it may be time to let them go. Your circle is reserved for the ones who lift you higher, if your friends and family don’t do such, it’s time to walk away from such relationships. Just because someone is family it doesn’t mean you have to get sucked into their own misfortunes.
Now, family isn’t all that bad. On the flip side, the love they have for you will drive their actions. Not all the decisions you make are going to end up successful. You will fail. You will fall flat on your fucking face. True, but, it’s your journey to fuck up and get back on track. Not your mom’s, dads, or anyone else who shares your blood.
You love yourself right? Not in a vain way, but genuinely accept who you are and where you stand. When you love yourself, the decision to act on the the impulses that come from within your heart will override all doubt and hesitation. Listen to this voice more often. Let it speak to you. Follow it. Let it guide you when in times of opposition.
I can speak of unconditional love in this tone because these thoughts are entirely derived from personal experience. Most of my life I felt my actions were based on the judgement of others. Most often than not, these “others” were my very own family. As I have followed my inner compass the last four years I have began to realize that not everyone you love is going to agree with your actions. It doesn’t make your actions right or wrong because life is never linear and what you feel at one point is the wrong choice you may view as the right choice years later. I have learned to let go. Yes, let go of some family. This doesn’t mean I boycott them completely in my life. It simply means you meet them where they are. If they don’t want to be all-in and support you, there’s no need to be all-in for keeping them around. Spend your time around those who lift you up… if it’s not your family, that’s fine, there are plenty of others who share a similar vision and purpose.
And it if it doesn’t serve you. Let it go.
Alright, so how about romantic love?
I’m going to let you indulge for a moment in my words. Evaluate your life.
Where do you stand? How did you get there?
I will return later this week with romantic love, expressing my love journey and how romantic love plays a role in your life’s successes.