Follow to unfollow, fake likes, inflated numbers, photoshop glamorama, dick pics, and thirsty women.
In one sentence it seems as if all of social media can be defined. As social platforms are no longer just extensions of our lives, we move into a world blanketed by misinterpretation, illusionary depictions of reality, and a false sense of self worth urged by the desire to be liked and admired.
Yes, I too am part of such phenomenon. I often find myself tempting the seduction social provides in order to pump my ego full of complete nonsense. The game of social is one to be played like a first person video game… you’re in the game, you’re progressing, but at anytime you can turn the console off and return to normal life.
No, I am not stating that social media is bad, the devil, or should not be utilized or consumed at scale. The reality of a social media free world is non-existent, so instead of bashing such networks, I want to discuss a few topics that cause quite the concern within these applications.
For starters, I will admit to my own social media character flaws.
Yes, I use photoshop. Yes, I often take a red pimple off my forehead to improve aesthetics. No, I do not alter my photos to make me bigger, more muscular, or any multitude of photo enhancing techniques to drastically change my appearance. I mean, the last thing I want is to cat fish ya’ll… If you question how I look in “real life” feel free to visit my Instagram story or Snapchat. I’m sure you will find a video of me talking about how you should read this blog rocking chicken hair, scruffy beard and a hoodie on. Ladies stop hiding your faces with silly filters, you’re women, not dogs, cats, or any other sort of fictional character with halos around your head. You’re beautiful in the raw, don’t ruin it for the few who appreciate such beauty, including YOURSELF.
Yes, I watch who follows and unfollows me. If someone happens to unfollow me, great! I simply unfollow them back. No hard feelings, I get it, you don’t receive value from my content. In a very straight forward manner, if a random stranger who only knows me through social decides to not have any interest in my life, I return the gesture. I do not have time to care about people who don’t care about me.
Yes, I slide into the DMs. Like ayyyyyyyy maaaaa! No, not me. More like, “Love what you are doing, keep up the work!” No, it’s not all business all the time. Yes, I give compliments to cute women who I will probably never meet. Who knows, social might just be the place I find the love of my life, I’m not canceling out the possibility by not participating. I have had the pleasure of connecting with some incredible women over the years that I have had zero romantic relations with. Fellas, it’s totally cool being friends with strong, powerful, independent women that have no interest in sleeping with you. If a woman wants to talk to you, she will talk to you.
Yes, I am a major hypocrite. I want you to consume my content but I most likely couldn’t tell you what you have been up to all week. For this, I only slightly apologize. My apologies goes out to those who create content of value that I just do not have the time to indulge in, tons of respect. I will support anyway I can if you are going after your dreams. I do not apologize for not watching your drunk updates of spring break, I don’t have time for that.
I’ll admit it, I’m not perfect. Not even close. I still say things I am not proud of, act in ways I would never want seen on social, and have my own weak links that I am diligently working on. I use photoshop, watch my following, slide into the DMs, and often portray a life that is free of stress, chaos, and problem.
Like I said, I’m simply a first person spectator in the game. The game does not consume me.
So where does the boundary start and stop? When do you know you have stepped crossed the line into a world of consumption?
When photoshop and light room with heavy editing becomes your only reality, you have gone too far. If perfect lighting, angles, and proficient editing is your go-to in order to feel good about posting something for the world to see, to each their own. Please though, show some imperfections. Show yourself without makeup on, in sweats, looking like a grunge. Eliminating fat rolls, stretch marks, scars, and any other physical “imperfection” for the sole purpose of creating a false depiction of who you are only distorts your reality even more. I see this all the time with Instagram fitness models… Notice I said models, athletes don’t give a fuck about a scar on their face, they earned that shit. These ugly ass ears? I earned them. Be proud of what you got, making yourself perfect is doing the exact opposite and rather equates to insecurity instead of humility. Photo editing software are tools to increase the value of your content, not increase the value you feel about yourself, indulge wisely.
As the pressure to be popular on social media intensifies, we often view people with a lot of followers and likes on photos to be, “cool.” Since this is so far from the truth, I really don’t need to say much more than the number of likes and followers has absolutely nothing to do with how cool you are. Hitler had a lot of followers, and we all know how cool he is.
Following someone to then unfollow them once they follow you back and begin to engage in your content is the epitome of douche-bagary. I’m sorry. If an account with a large number of followers begins to follow you, don’t get hyped and follow them back. More often than not, they are using a robot to follow and unfollow accounts that share similar interests. I love when entrepreneurs of all genres follow me, I follow back, like a couple photos, then am notified they have unfollowed me. Fitness people, models, and anyone who thinks they are ballin out on the interwebs with crypto or trading seems to be the ones who partake in this behavior most often. If you are one of these people, which I doubt, because if you were, you wouldn’t be reading the advice of someone else, my message to you is enough is enough.
Fake followers and inflated photo likes must come to an end. If you use any sort of like generator to have your photos gain likes from people over in India with 0 followers, 0 photos, and only follow 5 spam accounts, plan on losing. It’s not hard to spot either… I’ve been in this game a long time now. When your following doubles or triples overnight and your photos begin to all of sudden receive 500-1000+ likes in comparison to previous photos with 100-300 likes and you have done nothing to draw the extra attention, it’s blatantly obvious. Your video only has 300 views but received 1000 likes? Please fill me in on your secret. And buying followers, now that is on an entirely different level of psychosis.
Yes, there is absolutely space for growing your social reach by delivering content to the marketplace. Is it possible to grow a following overnight with proper promotion tactics? Yes. If you have successfully found the best way to funnel those with similar interests to consume your content, you’re doing it right. Purchasing, or inflating likes and followers that have no effect on your mission is a waste of your time. If that’s you, please don’t stop, it provides major opportunity for those doing it organically by developing skills and habits not some bullshit app that gives your photos 500 more likes. Fake it till you make it doesn’t mean trying to be someone you’re not. I would rather have 100 people fully invested in what I am doing than 100k not giving a fuck or not even real.
Instagram DMs, oh man. Speaking of man, men, you need to stop with the shenanigans. I get it, Instagram is the world’s hub for smoking hot babes at the convenience of your smart phone. Yes, a lot of these women post provocative, seductive photos expressing what their mommas gave them. Appreciate their beauty in your feed, and keep scrolling. I haven’t lived too long but I would have to say that any unsolicited photos of your penis sent into their message inbox is a sure way to never have a chance with them. That’s just my perspective though fellas, keep doing it and let me know how it continues to work out for you. No, she’s not “DTF” and no, by asking such isn’t going to change her mind. Like I said, if she’s down with you, she will let you know and provide conclusive data to support such. If you have to question it, it’s a no.
Men, enough ruining the new age way to connect with women if you’re going to be a child that only says such things because you feel comfortable behind the screen of your phone, you are a coward. Would you ever say or do these things to women in person? That was a loaded question… Yes is probably still the answer. That’s alright though, keep making the guys who are themselves, honest, hardworking and actually care about women look like God sends. Ladies, there are plenty of incredible men out in the world, stop getting caught up in new age antics where men think they run the world. Ya’ll know who run the world, girls.
Ladies, you all need to get called out too. The thirst for male attention has gotten out of hand. Some women crave this attention then wonder where they went wrong when 100 photos of penises are located in their “other inbox.” I’m not saying you deserve them, I’m saying you really need to set your intention boldly. Yes, it’s a free world and you can post whatever the hell you want, but, also take note as to who you are attracting with your content and message. If all your photos are of you naked, I would have to bet 90% of your following is men 22-34 in age. Same goes for me. I post a lot of photos with my clothes off. 75% of my following is women. It goes both ways which brings me to my next point…
Ladies, stop talking to other dudes when you’re in a relationship. If you’re so in love you don’t need to be hitting up my inbox with heart eyes and WYD messages.
**Disclaimer …. if you happen to be a single woman, dedicated, focused, and want nothing from me than to share the light of life even it it means you’re not romantically involved with me, hit me the fuck up!
If you are hitting up 15 other guys saying the same thing, please refrain from sliding into my inbox. Good men recognize this, if a man is hesitant in giving you more of him it might be because he feels he’s not the only one receiving the attention. The only ones who are fooled are men that want nothing more from you than a night of fun. If your posts state you are a woman with self love, respect, and rootedness ,yet time after time you find yourself involved with the same shitty men, take a look at your actions, words don’t mean jack.
There are a few unicorns out there that don’t need snap filters for us men to see it. That’s who the “good” men are after. Not the barn horse anyone can jump on…
Social media isn’t bad. Social media isn’t the devil. Social media is exactly what we make it.
Let’s make it great.